-ONE DAY EARLIER-
The Chris CK Mansion
Barrington, IL.
February 6th, 2010
It's nothing short of a somber atmosphere throughout the Chris CK Mansion. Justin Decent has spent the majority of the past 36 hours moping around the house complaining of blue balls. He has no one and nothing on his mind save the beautiful mental image of Kirsta Lewis. Since the involuntary seizure of his Macbook Pro by Santoro, Justin has spent most of his idle time in front of the television daydreaming of his Turmoil match on Thursday. We join Justin now as he props his feet up on the coffee table in the living room, preparing to watch a new episode of Law and Order: SVU. He's scantily clad in gray boxer shorts and a white tank top complete with purple fuzzy slippers and a giant tub of movie theater popcorn in hand, which fills the entire mansion with its butter laden aroma. After getting situated Justin flips on the television, however his mode of relaxation is quickly ruined when Santoro enters the room carrying a stack of documents.
Justin Decent - What's all of that?
Santoro - They're enrollment papers.
Justin Decent - Enrollment papers for what?
Santoro - The sensitivity training I told you I was going to enroll you in.
A disgusted look passes over Justin's face.
Justin Decent - I don't need sensitivity training.
Santoro - Yes, you do.
Justin Decent - Since when does a pro wrestler need to be in touch with a woman's needs when he's scheduled to beat the snot out of her in a WRESTLING match???
Santoro - Since I caught you with your pants around your ankles and a right hand full of...
Justin Decent - ENOUGH!!
Santoro - Listen Justin, this sensitivity training is more or less to get you used to the idea of being around women. I'm hoping that by interacting with a bunch of them at a group therapy/sensitivity training session you'll be less inclined to go off the deep end when you not only wrestle Kirsta, but the other handful of female wrestlers employed by High Octane. God forbid you grow some sort of sick obsession with Erites Kallisten or Bobbinette Carey too.
Justin Decent - Pffffbbbbttt.
Santoro - Training starts tomorrow morning.
Justin Decent - Pffffbbbbttt.
________________________________________________________
Sensitivity Training Center
Palatine, IL.
February 7th, 2010
The building is certainly nothing to look at. It's quasi-dilapidated with shingles hanging off the roof and mold spores growing out of the faded siding. As Justin approaches the training center an overwhelming feeling of nausea crosses over him. He takes a deep breath and makes his way through the entrance door, which has rusted hinges and brown paint peeling from the frame. The odor in the lobby is nothing more than a conglomerate of cheap perfume, a smell which immediately gives Justin a hard on. Desperate to conceal his erection, he hunches forward and begins walking as though he just got off of a horse. Justin's unusual posture attracts the attention of the receptionist, who wastes no time in addressing him.
Receptionist - Can I help you sir? If you're looking for a physical therapy clinic it's actually across the street. Looks as though you've got some back problems huh?
Justin Decent - Ehhh... no, not quite. I'm actually here for the sensitivity training class?
Receptionist - Really? Let me see if you're on the list. What did you say your name was?
Justin Decent - I didn't say what my name was. But if you must know it's Justin Decent. Justin with a J. And Decent with a D.
Receptionist - Ahhh, I do in fact see you here on the list. Well it looks as though you're scheduled for the group therapy session... which really just involves the women pouring their hearts out and drawing upon the emotional sensitivity of the other group members for support.
Justin Decent - The group is comprised of only women?
Receptionist - Yessir, you'd be the only male in attendance.
"Fucking Santoro..."
Receptionist - The session actually started just five minutes ago. Take that hallway over there down to the first door on your right. Let yourself in I'm sure the ladies will be glad to welcome you.
"I'm sure."
Justin Decent - Ok, thank you.
Receptionist - You're quite welcome.
The receptionist smiles at Justin as he hobbles down the hallway, careful not to let his erection protrude out too far. He successfully locates the first door on the right and lets himself into the room. Justin is greeted by approximately 15 blank stares, all from middle aged women who attend these sorts of therapy sessions regularly. After about ten seconds of an uncomfortable silence the group therapist addresses Justin, who is still hunched over and standing awkwardly.
Therapist - Well hello there! You must be Justin, our sensitivity director advised me that we would be having a male guest today. I guess your manager enrolled you yesterday? It's nice to see you've decided to join us! Please, have a seat in the circle.
Justin hesitantly pulls up a chair and joins the women in their small little circular formation.
Therapist - Most of us are pretty familiar with one another, however we do have a few new faces. We were going around the circle and introducing ourselves so why don't we start with you Justin? Tell us your name, age and a little bit about yourself.
Justin Decent - Uhhh... well... my name is Justin. I'm 25 years old and...
Sarah - 25?!? My god he's just a baby!!
Tammy - Yeah!! He's making me feel old!!
Tammy breaks down into tears while Sarah pats her on the back, trying to reassure her that she's still young and full of vitality.
Kimberly - I don't like Justin, he made Tammy cry.
Sarah - Yeah I don't like him either, typical man.
Tammy - ::WAAAAAHHHHHHH::
Sarah - There there hun, I'm sure he didn't mean it.
Sarah shoots Justin a menacing look.
Justin Decent - I... I'm... sorry.
Kimberly - Of course you are. TYPICAL man. Makes a woman cry and then just ASSUMES that an "I'm Sorry" will automatically make everything better.
The group of women begin to chatter amongst themselves, many of whom point at Justin and give him dirty looks.
Therapist - C'mon now guys!! We're supposed to make Justin feel welcome here. Bear in mind most men wouldn't give a group like this the time of day at all. We should welcome him with open arms and make him feel as though he's one of us. Now please Justin, continue.
Justin Decent - Well... like I said I'm 25 and I wrestle professionally for a company called HO Wrestling...
Charlene - I don't like the word HO. It's derogatory and degrading to women.
Tammy - ::WAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!::
Sarah - There there hun.
Charlene - Men can just as easily be HO's too you know.
"Oh for christ sake..."
Justin Decent - I'm sorry... I meant I'm employed by High Octane Wrestling.
Sarah - Leave it to a man to be employed by a wrestling company. Men and their physical contact sports. And of course you've got to throw a little bit of OCTANE in there, because what would a man be without an automobile.
Charlene - Oh don't even get me started. My husband works on his Chevelle all day long. If I didn't remind him that dinner was on the table I don't think he'd even remember to eat.
Tammy - ::WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!::
Sarah - There there hun.
Therapist - Ladies please, let Justin finish. Justin why did you join us today?
Justin Decent - Well this Thursday I'm supposed to wrestle against a female. My first ever match against a woman and I'm not really sure how to handle the concept. What's more is I think I'm falling for her. How can I wrestle against somebody I'm infatuated with you know? Should I just let her win? If I do that I'll be eliminated from this wrestling tournament I'm in.
Kimberly - How typical. Wrestling tournament. My husband spends hours with his ridiculous fantasy football tournaments. Spends hours and upon hours trying to build the perfect little team each year, and don't even get me started on the money he squanders on the little pool he and his guy friends have going.
Charlene - And listen to Justin now, going on about the fact he doesn't know how to handle the concept of a female wrestler. What? Females can't wrestle too? Who is this female wrestler I demand to know! I'll bet she's the best female wrestler out there!
Justin Decent - Her name is Kirsta Lewis.. and I think I'm in love with her. I couldn't bear the thought of hurting her.
Kimberly - What makes you think SHE can't hurt YOU?
Tammy - ::WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!::
Justin Decent - Well... I just never thought that the possibility of her defeating me actually existed...
"Uh oh... big mistake."
The group of women erupt with anger. Many of the women point and shout at Justin, calling him a male chauvinistic pig.
Therapist - Alright alright calm down everyone!! Justin, do you think by coming here today you'll gain a better understanding of how to treat Kirsta? Perhaps learn that just because she's a woman and she's your opponent that doesn't mean the two of you can't harbor a mutual respect for one another? And if you truly do have feelings for this girl, all the more reason why you should come to terms with the fact she's an independent woman who is indeed equal to you... in and out of the ring.
"Don't laugh... don't laugh..."
Justin fights his overwhelming urge to giggle.
Justin Decent - I... see... your... point...
Therapist - What is it you like about Kirsta? Tell us about your feelings, what attracted you to her?
"Don't say tits. Don't say tits."
Justin Decent - Her tits.
And with that all hell breaks loose. Many of the women leap from their chairs and curse at Justin, who remains calm and collected. The therapist struggles to maintain order.
Therapist - PLEASE EVERYONE!! REMAIN CALM!!!! Maybe T.I.T.S. is an acronym for something we just don't know about!!!
"More like something none of you have."
Justin Decent - More like something none of you have.
Therapist - WHAT?!??!!??!?!
Tammy - ::WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!::
"Ok... my inner monologue apparently needs some work."
The enraged therapist tackles Justin off of his chair and onto the ground. The women form a circle around them as they struggle with one another.
Charlene - I've had enough of this!!!!
Charlene bolts out of the room as Justin attempts to crawl out of the circle, however the group of women begin cursing and stomping on him.
"This was a fine idea Santoro."
The therapist jumps onto Justin's back and begins pulling his hair while he struggles to break free of the circle. When all hope seems to be lost he spots a wayward purse lying on the floor.
"Must... reach... purse. Possible... weapon..."
Justin reaches the purse and tips it over, spilling out an open box of tampons. Desperate, he reaches for a tampon and rolls over on top of the therapist. He grabs her by the hair and raises her to her feet, holding the end of the tampon to her neck.
Justin Decent - Nobody make a move!! Nobody!! I'll gut this bitch like a pig if any of you come near me!!
The group of women slowly back off.
Justin Decent - All I wanted to do was learn how to treat Kirsta like a lady!!! All I wanted to do was learn how to interact with her in an appropriate manner so that she would like me!!! And you bitches ruined it!!! Now Kirsta will NEVER like me!! And now I'll have NO CHOICE but to pound the tar out of her in the ring on Thursday!!!!
Sensitivity Director Stevens - What's going on in here?!?!
Tammy - ::WAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!::
Director Stevens enters the room and stands with her arms crossed, glaring at Justin.
Sensitivity Director Stevens - Drop the tampon.
Justin Decent - No! These miserable bitches are insane!!
Director Stevens softens her tone of voice and attempts to use her feminine wiles in an effort to disarm the agitated Justin.
Sensitivity Director Stevens - Please Justin, I understand you came here for our help. And perhaps we, all of us, have in some way let you down. I know your feelings are in disarray due to the immense pressure you're feeling having to wrestle Kirsta Lewis. I'm sure she's a very nice young lady, and I'm sure once she gets to know you Thursday... win or lose... the two of you will have a healthy future of some kind together. Just because you have feelings for her doesn't mean you can't still do your job. Win your match, and use the strength of that victory to aid you in courting Kirsta... who will undoubtedly need your support more than ever after her loss.
Justin Decent - I... I... I never thought of it that way. Maybe you're right.
Calmed by Director Stevens' soothing words, Justin lowers the tampon away from the therapist's throat.
Justin Decent - Thank you for...
Director Stevens pulls out her can of mace and sprays Justin directly in the face.
Sensitivity Director Stevens - Get him girls.
The horde of women attack Justin, wrestling him to the ground and subsequently biting and clawing at his helpless body.
Justin Decent - KIRSTA!!! HELP ME!!!!!! KIIIIIIIIIRRRRRSTA!!!!!!!
After being overwhelmed Justin blacks out as the women continue to maul him.
Tammy - ::WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!::
-SCENE-